Matching Up Edwards and Cheney
Jack Ohman-Oregonian
(also filed under smile)
Edwards and Cheney at debate
podiums; Cheney has handlers on either side of him pulling his mouth into
a huge smile.
"Just hold on, Mr. Vice
President... It's only until November..."
Chris Britt-State Journal-Register
(also filed under smile)
Cheney in office with a
couple of handlers; they are looking at a big photo of the smiling Edwards.
Handler: "Come on, sir.
You can do it. Smile, Smile!" Cheney: "I'm trying! I'm
trying!"
Walt Handelsman-Newsday
Four panels. Cheney
alone, speaking, in first three. Cheney and Bush in the fourth panel.
Cheney: "...there are two
Americas..." "...one for the rich..." "...and one for the really
rich..." Bush: "...stick to your old speech, Dick..."
Matt Davies-The Journal
News (also filed under experience)
Panel 1: Campaign sign with
Cheney wearing Halliburton and IRAQ WMD buttons and slogan "John Edwards:
A V.P. Without Dick Cheney's Foreign Policy Experience" Caption
"Bush/Cheney Campaign Sign."
Panel 2: Campaign sign with
Cheney wearing Halliburton and IRAQ WMD buttons and slogan "John Edwards:
A V.P. Without Dick Cheney's Foreign Policy Experience" Caption
"Kerry/Edwards Campaign Sign."
Kevin Siers-Charlotte
Observer (also filed under experience)
Six panels of Bush.
1. "Cheney said Saddam has
weapons of mass destruction!" 2. "Cheney said Saddam has strong ties
to Al-Qaida!" 3. "Cheney said the Iraqis would greet us as liberators!"
4. "Cheney said invading Iraq would decrease terrorism!" 5. "John
Edwards has no foreign policy experience!" 6. "Lucky John Kerry!"
Mike Smith-Las Vegas Sun
07/07/04 (also filed under experience)
Two people on the street
talking. Two panels; the second also shows a couple of newspaper
boxes.
1. "Edwards has no foreign
policy experience. It's important for the Vice President to know
what he's doing in this area." 2. "Look what can happen." Newspaper
headlines read "We'll be welcomed with open arms Cheney said" and "We know
where the WMD are Cheney said"
Scott Bateman
3 panels showing persons
on the street. Caption "Cheney, Edwards: What's the Difference, Anyway...?"
Person 1: "Edwards has been
fighting for working people, while Cheney has been fleecing working people."
Person 2: "All I'm saying
is, one of them scares my three-year-old whenever he comes on TV, and the
other one doesn't, is all I'm saying."
Person 3: "I don't know
about Edwards, but for a guy who claims to espouse family values, Cheney
sure has a potty mouth."
Pat Oliphant 07/07/04
Kerry and Edwards arm in
arm.
Kerry: "First thing we do
is tell Bush to go Cheney himself." Edwards: "Cheney's done that
to him already."
Drew Sheneman-Newark Star
Ledger 07/07/04
Cheney in an armchair in
front of the fireplace. He is holding a rifle, his feet are propped
up on Halliburton contracts, his glass rests on a barrel of crude oil and
the log in the fireplace is labelled old growth timber.
Cheney: "C'mon, you're not
going to trust some ambulance chaser to be Vice President are you?"
Chan Lowe-South Florida
Sun-Sentinel 07/08/04
Edwards and Cheney face
each other. Each bears a huge burden--Edwards' is labeled "Trial
Lawyer" and Cheney's says "Halliburton." Caption: "The Debate"
Cheney: "You've got some
big-time baggage there, pal."
Kal-Baltimore Sun
07/08/04
Kerry and Edwards seated
on the pans of a balance labeled "balanced ticket." To the side is
Cheney with Bush in his pocket.
Kerry: "I'm big on experience
but have little flair." Edwards: "I'm big on flair but have little
experience." Bush: "Hey Dickie, what are we big and little at..."
Don Wright-Palm Beach
Post
Six panels-the White House
with conversation.
1. "OK, he's young, he's
articulate, but can he beat this: 2. #*@! 3. #*@!! 4.
#*@!!! 5. #*@!!!! 6. Thank you, Mr. Vice President. Anyone
else want to weigh in on the Edwards selection?
Robert Ariail-The State
Man and woman on couch watching
TV. Woman holds and issue of "TV Week" on the cover of which is "Veep
Debate."
From TV (Cheney): "Go #*@!
yourself, Edwards" Woman: "...but you've go to give Cheney points
for firmness and brevity..."
Mike Keefe-Denver Post
VP debate-Edwards and Kerry
at podiums. Man and woman in the audience watching.
Cheney: "Go #*@! yourself."
Man in the audience: "Edwards' style, polish and rhetoric are impressive...but
you gotta score one for Cheney on directness."
Plante-Chattanooga Times
4 panels from future vice-presidential
debate. First panel shows moderator; next two show the two candidates;
final one shows just Edwards and an exclamation coming from Cheney, under
the table.
1. Moderator: "Welcome to
the vice presidential debates 2004... Senator Edwards. Why
should it matter to the American voters who they elect Vice President?"
2. Edwards: "First, there's
Dick's heart problem." Cheney: "#*@! trial lawyer!"
3. Edwards: "Then there's
Halliburton!"
4. Cheney: "Go #*@! yourself!"
Mike Smith-(Las Vegas
Sun) USA Today 07/09/04
Two people at a bus stop;
one is reading the paper (headline "Kerry, Edwards vs. Bush, Cheney")
Person reading the paper:
It's a choice between two distinct tickets." Other person: "Yeah,
two rich white guys or two rich white guys."
Joel Pett-Lexington Herald-Leader
07/09/04
Cloaked figure of War holding
up small Bush and Kerry holding up small Edwards.
Kerry and Bush simultaneously:
"Nice running mate!"
Dan Wasserman-Boston Globe
07/07/04
Bush at his desk; Cheney
walking away.
Bush: "Hold on--Kerry got
to pick his own VP?!"
Bill Schorr-United Feature
Syndicate
The White House
"Sorry, but you've become
an embarrassment to my adminstration and a drag on the ticket...so I'll
have to pick a new running mate!" (Bush): "But Dick, I'm President!"
Kerry and Edwards
Beattie-Daytona Beach
News-Journal
Kerry and Edwards arms raised,
confetti falling, banner in background.
Kerry: "Now, repeat after
me...I'M Batman and YOU'RE Robin. I'M Batman..."
Stuart Carlson 07/07/04
Edwards in the foreground,
greeting cheering supporters. Kerry in the background looking on,
talks to an aide.
Kerry: "I just hope he can
handle living in the shadow of my own charisma."
Dwayne Powell-Raleigh
News & Observer 07/08/04
Kerry on the couch talking
to psychologist. The psychologist has written the word "Delusional"
on his notepad.
Kerry: "...of course, it
helps that I'm confident enough with myself not to fear being overshadowed
by Edwards..."
Vic Harville-Stephens
Media Group
Giant arm (represents Edwards)
with Kerry Edwards button holds up a small Kerry. Caption "Boost."
Jeff Parker-Florida Today
Edwards being carried away
by a group of TV cameraheads as Kerry is left to the side of the stage.
Dana Summers-Orlando Sentinel
Top Panel: Two Democratic
donkeys look at a poster of Kerry and Edwards and talk.
Middle: The two donkeys
look at each other with realization.
Bottom Panel: The donkeys
walk away from rearranged image of Edwards and Kerry.
Donkey 1: "What do you think?"
Donkey 2: "Great Choice! Edwards is Southern, young, handsome, and
connects with the common man."
Ed Gamble-Florida Times-Union
07/09/04
Democratic donkey puts the
finishing touches on Kerry-EDWARDS billboard. (Edwards in much large
font.) Kerry looks on.
Kerry: "Hey, I still get
to be President, don't I?" Donkey: "We'll see."
Gary Markstein-Milwaukee
Journal Sentinel
Kerry leaning out of his
limousine lookas at a Kerry-Edwards billboard and talks into phone.
Edwards' face dominates the billboard.
Kerry: Hello, PR department?
You are sooo fired..."
Brian Fairrington
Kerry and a campaign staffer
look at a big poster of Edwards.
Staffer to Kerry: "He's
young, charismatic, popular, easy to understand, good looking, friendly,
and a self made millionaire...Everything you're not..."
Mike Smith-Las Vegas Sun
07/08/04
Kerry and Edwards on the
statge. A couple of aides are to the side, talking; a small audience
looks on. Aide: "He'll make up for Kerry's lakc of charisma."
Audience member (thinking): "Next to Edwards he looks even more stiff."
Chan Lowe-South Florida
Sun-Sentinel
Kerry with some icicles
on him speaks flames through Edwards megaphone. Caption: "Warming
up the message."
Jimmy Margulies-The Record
(New Jersey
Man snoozing in armchair
in front of a TV; Kerry is on the TV.
Kerry: John Edwards will
help me attract women, independents, Southerners, labor, swing voters...
...and anyone else who is still awake..."
Jim Morin-Miami Herald
Kerry as Frankenstein strapped
on table; Edwards as doctor.
Edwards "...It's Alive!
It's Alive!!"
Doug Marlette-Tallahassee
Democrat
Democratic donkey as doctor
taking pulse. Kerry is in front; Edwards is behind him with his arm
reaching forward. The doctor is thus taking Edwards pulse.
Doctor: "Eureka! We
got a pulse!"
Rob Rogers-Pittsburgh
Post-Gazette 07/09/04
Kerry in hospital bed is
administering self cardio shock; the monitor shows John Edwards.
Kerry: "Clear!"
Jeff Stahler
Edwards with jumper cables
running from his ears to Kerry's ears; Kerry is being charged. Caption:
"Recharged..."
Dick Wright-Gwinnett Daily
Post
Sailing vessel. A
small sail is labeled "Kerry;" the main sail, below, is labeled "Edwards."
Steve Sack-Star Tribune
Kerry on a Segway labeled
"Kerry Charisma" to which is attached a flashy Edwards sidecar.
Kerry to Edwards "Buckle
up..."
Bill Deore-Dallas Morning
News 07/07/04
Kerry on a moped and Edwards
on a full Harley style motorcycle.
Edwards to Kerry: "Drive
this one... It's faster..."
Jeff Danziger
Kerry as a tortoise; Edwards
as a hare bounces around him.
Kerry: "I'd like to point
out how Senator Edwards complements my candidacy..."
Mike Lester-Rome News
Tribune
Hugely buxom Kerry with
shirt labeled John Edwards. Kerry is a podium. In background
are a couple of supporters talking. There is also a small figure
in the corner.
Supporter 1: "But they're
fake..." Supporter 2: "So what. He looks sexier." Small
figure: "Now that should give his poll numbers some bounce."
Mark Streeter-Savannah
Morning News 07/06/04
Smiling balloon (with Edwards
face) lifts up an anvil (with Kerry face).
Small figure of artist in
lower corner "Gravitas puts on a smile."
John Trever-Albuquerque
Journal
"Democratic Drug Card" shows
dour Kerry labeled "Downer" and hyped up Edwards labeled "Upper."
Jeff Gorrell-Creators
Syndicate
Kerry holding up a baby
Edwards.
Kerry: "What's the matter?...Never
seen a politician kiss a baby?!"
Steve Benson-Arizona Republic
07/07/04
Kerry holding up a baby
Edwards. Caption "Kissing Babies"
Kerry: "When I was returning
from Vietnam, you were still in diapers. But you're so cute!
Wanna be my running mate?"
Nick Anderson-The Courier
Journal
Republican elephant reading
newspaper with headline "McCain: 1st Choice?" Woman reading
newspaper with headline "Bush Lost Popular Vote in 2000"
Republican Elephant: "Kerry
had to settle for his second choice! Woman: "I can relate.."
Gary Varvel-The Indianapolis
Star
Take off on "The Apprentice"
television show featuring Donald Trump. Kerry is on one side of the
table; VP prospects are on the other side.
Kerry: "John Edwards, you're
hired."
Locher-Chicago Tribune
Kerry and Edwards in a jet
fighter that is propped up on concrete blocks; two figures--"unions" and
"Gephardt" running away with wheels.
Kerry: "Hope there's no
hard feelings with my Vice President choice."
The South
MacGregor-The News Press
Kerry and Edwards on a tandem
bike; in the background is a sign "Welcome to the South"
Edwards: "Don't worry John,
I've got your back.. And I ain't just whistlin' Dixie!"
Bob Englehart-Hartford
Courant
Kerry at podium in front
of Kerry Edwards banner.
Thought balloon: "Carry
Florida"
S.Kelly-Times Picayune(also
filed under Qualifications-Trial Lawyer)
A pickup truck labeled "The
South" has crashed into a car with Mass. license plate "Kerry." Man
with briefcase labeled "John Edwards, Atty." presents his card to Kerry.
Edwards: "My Card."
Robert Ariail-The State(also
filed under Smile)
Kerry and Edwards; Edwards'
smile is a map of the Southern states from TX to VA.
Kerry: "We're thinking the
smile will help..."
Mike Lane-The Sun
Kerry and Edwards next to
each other in front of microphones.
Kerry: "It is with exultant
jubilation and felicitous exuberance that I intone..." Edwards: "He's
as pleased as a possum in a pea patch!"
Qualifications
Ed Stein-Rocky Mountain
News
Air Force One in flight;
conversation balloons.
1: "Only one term in national
office. Not prepared fo foreign policy crises. He may be a
nice guy, but this is not time for on-the-job training."
2 (President Bush): "Hey!"
3: "He means John Edwards,
Mr. President."
Mark Streeter-Savannah
Morning News
On the left is a large man
(Cheney) holding hand of a diminutive Bush. On the right is large
man (Kerry) holding hand of a diminutive Edwards.
Bush: "Dick Cheney has had
the depth of experience to be president. C'mon. This guy's
only been in the Senate for as long as I was a Governor!"
Scott Stantis-Birmingham
(AL) News 07/07/04
Eight images of Kerry at
a podium. The first one is labeled "Then." The last one is
labeled "Today."
Kerry (1): "This isn't the
time for on-the-job training!" Kerry (8): "Now is!"
Matt Davies-The Journal
News (also filed under Cheney)
Panel 1: Campaign sign with
Cheney wearing Halliburton and IRAQ WMD buttons and slogan "John Edwards:
A V.P. Without Dick Cheney's Foreign Policy Experience" Caption
"Bush/Cheney Campaign Sign."
Panel 2: Campaign sign with
Cheney wearing Halliburton and IRAQ WMD buttons and slogan "John Edwards:
A V.P. Without Dick Cheney's Foreign Policy Experience" Caption
"Kerry/Edwards Campaign Sign."
Kevin Siers-Charlotte
Observer (also filed under Cheney)
Six panels of Bush.
1. "Cheney said Saddam has
weapons of mass destruction!" 2. "Cheney said Saddam has strong ties
to Al-Qaida!" 3. "Cheney said the Iraqis would greet us as liberators!"
4. "Cheney said invading Iraq would decrease terrorism!" 5. "John
Edwards has no foreign policy experience!" 6. "Lucky John Kerry!"
Mike Smith-Las Vegas Sun
07/07/04 (also filed under Cheney)
Two people on the street
talking. Two panels; the second also shows a couple of newspaper
boxes..
1. "Edwards has no foreign
policy experience. It's important for the Vice President to know
what he's doing in this area." 2. "Look what can happen." Newspaper
headlines read "We'll be welcomed with open arms Cheney said" and "We know
where the WMD are Cheney said"
Trial Lawyer
Joe Heller-Green Bay
Press-Gazette
Democratic HQ; two Democratic
donkeys inside watching TV on VP choice.
"...and what's great is,
he's a successful trial lawyer... If we lose, we sue!
Brookins-Richmond Times-Dispatch
Two Democratic donkeys holding
campaign signs. First sign reads "Kerry: A lifetime of service and
strength" Second sign reads "Edwards: America's most lovable trial
lawyer."
Donkey 1 to Donkey 2: "Y'know,
that may need a little tweaking..."
Wayne Stayskal-Tribune
Media Services
Man and woman on couch watching
TV; Kerry is on the TV talking into a bunch of microphones.
Kerry: "If I had been President
on 9/11, I would not have gone to war. I would have had my Vice President,
John Edwards, sue the terrorists for personal injury!"
Dan Wasserman-Boston Globe
07/08/04
Man and woman walk past
Abraham Lincoln wearing a "Vote for Abe" button.
Man: "Nice guy, but I can't
vote for him... He's a trial lawyer!"
S.Kelly-Times Picayune
(also filed under The South)
A pickup truck labeled "The
South" has crashed into a car with Mass. license plate "Kerry." Man
with briefcase labeled "John Edwards, Atty." presents his card to Kerry.
Edwards: "My Card."
Chip Bok-Akron Beacon
Journal 07/09/04
Kerry and Edwards on a platform.
An ambulance goes by in the back and Edwards is poised to chase after it;
Kerry holds on to him.
Kerry: My running mate wiht
never forget the simple values that lifted him from humble beginnings."
Jones-Free Lance-Star
Officer handing envelope
to President Bush in the Oval Office.
Officer: "Consider yourself
served. You're being sued by John Edwards for presidential malpractice..."
Smile
Branch-San Antonio Express-News
Kerry and Edwards arms raised;
Kerry has a forced smile on to match Edwards' smile.
Edwards: "You'll get used
to it, John..."
R.J. Matson-New York Observer
Kerry and Edwards in front
of Kerry-Edwards banner.
The smiling Kerry is using
his fingers to stretch a big smile on Kerry's face.
Ken Siers-Charlotte Observer
Kerry with a huge smile
labeled "Edwards" grafted on to his face. Caption: "The Facelift"
Doug Marlette-Tallahassee
Democrat
Kerry and Edwards.
Edwards and his huge smile dominate the frame; Kerry is wedged over to
the side.
Robert Ariail-The State(also
filed under Smile)
Kerry and Edwards; Edwards'
smile is a map of the Southern states from TX to VA.
Kerry: "We're thinking the
smile will help..."
Jack Ohman-Oregonian
(also filed under Cheney)
Edwards and Cheney at debate
podiums; Cheney has handlers on either side of him pulling his mouth into
a huge smile.
"Just hold on, Mr. Vice
President... It's only until November..."
Chris Britt-State Journal-Register
(also filed under Cheney)
Cheney in office with a
couple of handlers; they are looking at a big photo of the smiling Edwards.
Handler: "Come on, sir.
You can do it. Smile, Smile!" Cheney: "I'm trying! I'm
trying!"
Hair
Henry Payne-Detroit News
Democrat HQ with Kerry-Edwards
sign in the window and Democratic donkey talking into phone.
"Hello? Yes, I need
to double that shipment of hairspray!"
Bob Lang-Inside Politics
Edwards and aide on balcony
overlooking huge crowd with Edwards signs. (Aide holds "Hair Care
Kit.")
Edwards: "Listen to those
people cheering for me! They love me! They really love me!"
Aide: "Er, sir... those are editorial cartoonists!"
Miscellaneous
Jeff Koterba-Omaha World-Herald
Edwards surrounded by a
swarm of reporters with microphones. Over to the side is Bill Clinton
holding a copy of his book "My Life."
Vic Harville-Stephens
Media Group 07/08/04
New York Post's erroneous
front page "Kerry's Choice" [Gephardt] is dressed up in a clown suit.
Copyright © 2004 Eric M. Appleman/Democracy in Action